Let’s Talk About Newborn Sleep (Because I Wish Someone Had Told Me This)

I was holding my first newborn baby in the middle of the night, completely exhausted, wondering if I’d ever sleep again. People told me, “it’s just a phase, it will get better,” but no one told me how or when or what I was supposed to do in the meantime.

I didn’t need a strict schedule. I just needed someone to walk me through what was normal.

So if you're where I was—running on fumes Googling “newborn sleep tips” at 2:00am—this is for you.

Start With a Feeding Rhythm

No one prepares you for how nonstop the feeding is in the beginning. I felt like I was either feeding, or trying to get my baby back to sleep on an endless loop.

But what I didn’t realize then was this: as babies begin to sleep a little longer at night, it becomes more important that they’re getting enough calories during the day. That’s where a simple feeding rhythm helped me.

I started aiming to feed every 3 hours during the day. Sometimes it was 2.5 hours, and that was okay too. I needed a more predictable schedule, but I didn’t need to always follow a schedule. If my baby started fussing earlier, I’d offer a pacifier or bounce her a little to stretch the time just a bit. Over a relatively short time, her feedings became fuller and more predictable, and I finally felt like we had some rhythm.

I learned to keep her alert during feeds by gently tickling her feet, using a cool washcloth, or even doing a few minutes of Tummy Time if she was really dozing off. It wasn’t perfect, but it helped.

The Power of “Good Morning”

One day I decided to stop treating our mornings like just another middle-of-the-night wakeup. I turned off the white noise, opened the blinds, and said, “Good morning!” like we were starting fresh.

This sounds so small, but that moment helped me shift—and helped her begin to understand the difference between day and night.

I’d feed her in a well-lit room while the coffee brewed in the background. The sound of normal life happening, dishes clinking, my husband and I having a conversation, became a signal that the day had begun. A little sunlight on her face, a snuggle in the bright living room, and suddenly things felt a bit less blurry.

A Simple Bedtime Routine (That Actually Helped)

Everyone talks about routines, but I kept thinking, how can I have a routine when every day feels so chaotic? But once I stopped overcomplicating it, our bedtime rhythm fell into place.

We started with a wipe-down or bath, then a diaper change, full feeding, pajamas, and swaddle. I turned on the white noise, dimmed the lights, and placed her in the bassinet—even if just for practice.

At first, it didn’t always work. Some nights she fussed and ended up in my arms. But over time, the predictability helped both of us wind down. It gave our evenings an anchor.

Short Awake Windows Are Key

One of the biggest lightbulb moments for me was realizing that newborns can’t stay awake very long. I’d been missing the sweet spot, thinking he wasn’t tired yet when really she was past it.

Once I started paying attention to the clock, not just her cues, things got easier. I aimed for 45 minutes to 1 hour of awake time—including feeds and diaper changes—and tried to get her down before the overtired meltdown hit.

It was a game-changer.

Focus on Night Sleep First

I used to feel guilty that our naps were all over the place. Contact naps, stroller naps, nursing naps—you name it. But someone told me to focus on protecting night sleep first, and I clung to that.

I picked one nap (usually the first of the day) to try in the bassinet or stroller bassinet, just to practice laying flat. The rest? However it happened, I was totally okay with it!

Gentle Soothing: What Actually Helped

I didn’t want to do cry-it-out. But let’s be honest, I also didn’t want to bounce or breastfeed my baby every 20 minutes all night long. The pick up, put down method became our middle ground.

If she fussed after I laid her down, I’d wait a couple of minutes. If she was still upset, I’d pick him up, hold her close until she calmed (not necessarily until she was silent), and then try again.

It wasn’t magic. But it helped her feel safe. And it helped me feel like I had a plan—something to try that was loving and supportive of sleep.

You’re Both Learning

Newborn sleep is a lot. It’s exhausting. It’s inconsistent. And yes, sometimes it’s lonely.

You’re both learning something brand new, and just because it’s hard, doesn’t mean it’s broken.

So give yourself grace; start small, and don’t be afraid to ask for support when you need it.

You’re not alone in this, and you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself. Book a free call today to learn more about how I can support you during the newborn stage.