What is “Gentle Sleep Training”?
There’s a new trend that’s going on that says there’s a kinder and more gentle way to get your baby to sleep through the night. It’s called “gentle sleep training,” but what’s implied is that your baby will learn to sleep well without any crying, or feeling frustrated, or without any discomfort.
Wow, that sounds amazing, right?
But here’s the truth: that’s not how change works—not for adults, and definitely not for babies.
Let’s look at a few buzzwords floating around social media right now:
“No-cry sleep training.” This sounds lovely, but only in theory! Crying is how babies communicate. It’s how they tell us, “I don’t like this,” even when it’s exactly what they need. No-cry methods don’t work either, it will take months to show results, or involve so much parent intervention that the baby never actually learns to sleep independently.
“Connection-based sleep coaching.” Another trendy phrase that suggests that if you're truly connected to your child, they won’t cry. This idea shames parents who choose structured methods, as if fostering independence is the opposite of love. It’s not. You can absolutely be loving, connected, and committed to your child while still making sleep a priority.
“Biologically normal infant sleep.” This one's rooted in truth—yes, babies can wake often at night. But that doesn’t mean they have to. The suggestion that waking five times a night at 12 months is “normal” isn’t just misleading, it keeps exhausted families stuck. Yes, it's biologically possible—but so is learning to sleep 11–12 hours at night, independently.
What is true: sleep is a skill. And like any skill, it has to be learned.
That learning process? It involves some discomfort. Some protest. Some “I don’t like this!” moments. And yes, some crying.
But here’s the difference: when you work with me, that protest happens in a safe, structured, and supported environment. Parents choose the method that fits their comfort level, including the Stay in the Room approach—where you're literally sitting right next to your child while they learn. You’re there. You’re calm. You’re consistent. You’re not giving in, and you’re not giving up.
It’s not about ignoring your baby or leaving them to cry. It’s about teaching them a lifelong skill in a way that’s respectful to them and you.
So the next time you see a sleep coach promising a tear-free, struggle-free transformation, ask yourself: is this realistic?
Because at the end of the day, the goal isn’t to avoid every cry. The goal is to raise a confident sleeper—and a confident parent.